15 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Resume

15 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Resume Here at TheJobNetwork, we have scoured every nook and cranny  of the internet and have compiled a list of epic proportions. Here are the top 15 most hilarious  things people have put on their resume. Most people take their resumes seriously, but not these guys. First thing first, if you are serious about making a great resume, make sure to download our resume samples for your specific job title.1.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"None of my references really like me, so please don’t believe what they say.†2.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"I came up with the idea for Windows.†3. â€Å"I’ll introduce you to my wife if you hire me.†4. â€Å"I am proficient in Internet Explorer, Firefox, and all related search engines.†5.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"I’m a level 90 Shamanistic natural healer.†6.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"I quit  being a  porn actor and took a job at a gas station. They fired me because of ‘job performance issues.’ Right before the tank was full I’d pull the nozzle ou t and spray gas all over the car’s headlights.†7.   Werk Xperince: â€Å"i werked at da keyfuuud az da best bhag boiii†8.   Leadership Skills: â€Å"World of Warcraft Guild Leader9.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"Have you ever been convicted of a felony? If yes, please explain.†Ã‚  Answer:  Ã¢â‚¬Å"Yes. Arson.  He deserved it. Will discuss in interview.†10. â€Å"List your most notable accomplishments.† Answer: â€Å"I learned how to store crumbs in the flaps of my fat for safe-keeping.†11. Skills: â€Å"I’m a BOSS at working.†12. Talents: â€Å"I am adored by my entire village. All of the villagers want me to marry their daughters.†13. Special skills: â€Å"I have destroyed the president of Nicaragua in tennis.†14. Languages: â€Å"I can speak Klingon.†15.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"This isn’t my real contact information. I need to conceal my identity because I am being followed. If you need to contact me, flip a coin into the sunlight and look north. I will be there.†If you don’t want to end up looking like anyone above, make sure to go over to our resume library to download a resume template for your desired job title.

Biography of Carl O. Sauer

Biography of Carl O. Sauer Carl Ortwin Sauer was born on December 24, 1889, in Warrenton, Missouri. His grandfather was a traveling minister, and his father taught at Central Wesleyan College, a German Methodist college that has since been closed. During his youth, Carl Sauers parents sent him to school in Germany, but he later returned to the United States to attend Central Wesleyan College. He graduated in 1908, shortly before his nineteenth birthday. From there, Carl Sauer began attending Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. While at Northwestern, Sauer studied geology and developed an interest in the past. Sauer then shifted to the broader subject of geography. Within this discipline, he was primarily interested in the physical landscape, human cultural activities, and the past. He then transferred to the University of Chicago where he studied under Rollin D. Salisbury, among others, and earned his Ph.D. in geography in 1915. His dissertation focused on the Ozark Highlands in Missouri and included information ranging from the areas people to its landscape. Carl Sauer at the University of Michigan Following his graduation from the University of Chicago, Carl Sauer began teaching geography at the University of Michigan where he remained until 1923. In his early days at the university, he studied and taught environmental determinism, an aspect of geography that said the physical environment was solely responsible for the development of various cultures and societies. This was the popularly held viewpoint in geography at the time, and Sauer learned about it extensively at the University of Chicago. After studying the destruction of pine forests on Michigans Lower Peninsula while teaching at the University of Michigan though, Sauers opinions on environmental determinism changed, and he became convinced that humans control nature and develop their cultures out of that control, not the other way around. He then became a fierce critic of environmental determinism and carried these ideas throughout his career. During his graduate studies in geology and geography, Sauer also learned the importance of field observation. He then made this an important aspect of his teaching at the University of Michigan and during his later years there, he did field mapping of the physical landscape and land uses in Michigan and surrounding areas. He also published extensively on the area’s soils, vegetation, land use, and the quality of the land. The University of California, Berkeley Throughout the early 1900s, geography in the United States was mainly studied on the East Coast and Mid-west. In 1923, however, Carl Sauer left the University of Michigan when he accepted a position at the University of California, Berkeley. There, he served as the department chair and advanced his ideas of what geography should be. It was also here that he became famous for developing the Berkeley School of geographic thought which focused on regional geography organized around culture, landscapes, and history. This area of study was important for Sauer because it further enhanced his opposition to environmental determinism in that it placed an emphasis on how humans interact with and change their physical environment. Also, he brought up the importance of history when studying geography and he aligned U.C. Berkeleys geography department with its history and anthropology departments. In addition to the Berkeley School, Sauers most famous work to come out of his time at U.C. Berkeley was his paper, The Morphology of Landscape in 1925. Like much of his other work, it challenged environmental determinism and made clear his stance that geography should be the study of how present landscapes were shaped over time by people and natural processes. Also in the 1920s, Sauer began applying his ideas to Mexico, and this began his lifelong interest in Latin America. He also published Ibero-Americana with several other academics. During much of the rest of his life, he studied the area and its culture and published widely on the Native Americans in Latin America, their culture, and their historical geography. In the 1930s, Sauer worked on the National Land Use Committee and began studying the relationships between climate, soil, and slope with one of his graduate students, Charles Warren Thornthwaite, to detect soil erosion for the Soil Erosion Service. Soon after though, Sauer became critical of the government and its failure to create sustainable agriculture and economic reform and in 1938, he wrote a series of essays focused on environmental and economic issues. Additionally, Sauer also became interested in biogeography in the 1930s and wrote articles focusing plant and animal domestication. Finally, Sauer organized the international conference, Mans Role in Changing the Face of the Earth, at Princeton, New Jersey in 1955 and contributed to a book of the same title. In it, he explained the ways humans have impacted the Earths landscape, organisms, water, and atmosphere. Carl Sauer retired shortly after that in 1957. Post-U.C. Berkeley After his retirement, Sauer continued his writing and research and wrote four novels focused on early European contact with North America. Sauer died in Berkeley, California on July 18, 1975, at the age of 85. Carl Sauers Legacy During his 30 years at U.C. Berkeley, Carl Sauer oversaw the work of many graduate students who became leaders in the field and worked to spread his ideas throughout the discipline. More importantly, Sauer was able to make geography prominent on the West Coast and initiate new ways of studying it. The Berkeley Schools approach differed significantly from the traditional physical and spatially oriented approaches, and though it is not actively studied today, it provided the foundation for cultural geography, cementing Sauers name in geographic history.

Developing a Personal Leadership Style Research Paper

Developing a Personal Leadership Style - Research Paper Example This style is considered outmoded and inappropriate in the modern society overfilled with democratic points of view.  This type can be characterized as â€Å"one person rules†. It means, the decision-making process is conducted only by one certain person, and other participators of the process are obliged to act according to the demands of that person. Thus, a communication between the leader and inferiors develops only on the professional level. However, sometimes it is the only way of acting that can help achieve the target aims. For instance, the police officer that is giving the commands to the criminal, or the tutor that is telling the student to complete the certain task, utilize this style of headship. At the same time, Salin and Hoel (2010) argue that this type of headship leads to appearance of climate of fear, which can be a great pitfall on the way to goals’ achievement. Nevertheless, if the person needs this type to be developed, he or she should train the ability to establish certain tasks and be responsible for all the outcomes.Paternalistic This type can be characterized as cooperating with inferiors like father with children. The main advantage of this style is high level of trust between the person in charge and the participators of certain space. Nevertheless, this can also lead to the situation when several participators could become favorites while others may remain unheeded. This, in turn, can be the reason for many dismissals of the participators that simply wish to become more valuable.

CIS Questions Coursework Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

CIS Questions - Coursework Example Determine if they can be used simultaneously in a page. If so, explain which of the two takes precedence over the other. Javascript is utilized for one line and customization where CSS is utilized in multiple webpages to ensure that aesthetics of a page are consistent. Javascript is utilized more for web page validation and action whereas CSS is used for style and design. 12. Imagine that you designed a Website for a client using JavaScript to make animated snowflakes fall on the page. When you test the page, the animations do not work. Predict what the problem could be and propose a solution. 13. Analyze some of the limitations a Web designer should be aware of before adding JavaScript to a Website. Determine if these limitations outweigh the benefits of using JavaScript. Explain your decision. From the server or client side, the processing power can be a huge factor. Additionally, web pages with many scripts. It can take a long process to execute because of the algorithm that it must process. 14. From the second e-Activity, identify a company (bank, car wash, travel agency, nonprofit, restaurant, etc.). Keeping that company in mind, select the client-side or server-side scripting you would most likely use, and why. Or you can explain the client-side or server-side scripting you would not use, and why not. I used to take this course as a Business Analysis and specialized in e-marketing which allowed me to harness my growth in this realm. My future position will IT director in BA. The demand for Business Administration undoubtedly has boomed over the recent years along with marketing. It is one of the best scope in the commerce market for various reasons First and foremost, the specialization of marketing in BA is a perfect fit in e-commerce. I will be exposed to many realms of technology that exploits many channels of the business. In the modern century, internet marketing has become one

Elements Of Culture Corporate Artifacts Commerce Essay

Elements Of Culture Corporate Artifacts Commerce Essay Experienced captains know that navigating uncharted sea should be pay more attention to observe, analyze to predict potential risks and make proper decisions. As a manager, running an existing or setting up a new company also need these skills, strategic management helps corporate to focus ahead, understand the marketing environment and reposition business to effectively compete other companies. Corporate strategy management is related to different aspects, such as financial aspects, human resources management, organizational culture, marketing, etc. Organizational culture is one of these important aspects, which is an indispensable and intangible aspect of strategy management. The concepts of organizational culture and organizational strategy looks like different, but they have a closer relationship between each other. Normally one part of corporate success depends on the support of organizational culture to organizational strategy. Organizational culture is about expectations, valu es and beliefs learned and shared by the companys members and transmitted from one generation of employees to anther. The organizational culture generally reflects the values of the founders and the mission of the company. Culture gives a corporate a sense of identity: This is what we stand for. This is who we are. This is what we do. The culture includes the dominant orientation of the company, such as customer care at Hilton, innovation at Apple, product quality at Volvo, or RD at HP. It often includes the many informal work rules that the staffs follow without asking questions. These work practices over time become part of a companys unquestioned tradition. The culture, therefor reflects the companys value. (Thomas, L 2012) Apple Inc does well in their organizational culture, their culture was based on an ideal that self-motivated individuals will work harder if they do not have a boss micromanaging every action. This unique and successful culture helps Apple Inc develop the mos t attractive products and occupy the market rapidly. (Scribd 2010) Elements of culture corporate artifacts, shared values, shared assumption When you walk into a hotel, a resort, a university, a bank, what do you notice first? What do frist impressions tell you about the organization that you have just entered? How friendly it will be? How expensive it will be? What kind of behavior is expected of you? How will the staff approach and deal with you? Now look more carefully at the physical surroundings what positive and negative signs, symbols and signals do you get? How exactly are these being transmitted to you? These are all aspects of organizational culture. Cultural awareness will not only lead to more effective staffs, but also get more customers or clients and increase the customers loyalty. There are many elements of organizational culture, but three of them artifacts, values, and assumptions are the key elements, organizational employees create the sets of artifacts, values, and assumptions, no single element can build corporate culture. Corporate artifacts are the observable signs and symbols of an organizationa l culture, such as the corporate stories or legends, the organizations physical layout and the way guests are greeted, it is also a language and physical structure of the organization, the artifact may be as formal as the staff handbook or a hotel logo, or as informal as decoration in the front lobby. Artifacts are important because they offer the best evidence about a companys culture. In Hilton, there is a famous story, 80% hotels were closed down during the great depression in America. The hotels owner Conrad Hilton still told his staff dont forget the etiquette, the smile is always belong to the guests. After the great depression, Hilton hotel lead into the new flourishing period and became the leader in tourism industry. (Charles Kelly 2010) Values are stable, evaluative beliefs that guide organizational members preferences for goals or plans of action in a variety of situations, such as compassion, innovation, cooperation, compassion, integrity, service innovation, and the cr eativity. Values could demonstrate themselves in the form of corporate strategies, goals and desired qualities. Building organizational core values can be used to guide principles and wish the employees to insist to these. For example: Lenovo which was established with 25,000 RMB investment in a guard house in China, today, Lenovo is a US$21 billion personal technology company which ousts HP as worlds largest PC vendor. (Gartner 2012) Its success mainly depends on its strategy and corporate culture, its core value innovative spirit and customer service attract more talents and customers, which help Lenovo occupy the global market.( Lenovo 2012) Along with shared values , corporate culture consists of a deeper element shared assumptions. These are unconscious taken for granted perception or beliefs that have worked so well in the past that they are considered the correct way to think and act toward problems and opportunities. Shared assumptions are so deeply ingrained that you prob ably would not discover them by surveying employees. Only by observing employees, analyzing their decisions, and debriefing them about their actions would these assumptions rise to the surface. (Steven, L. 2008) Why do executives at Lenovo, Hilton hotel group and other companies pay so much attention to organizational culture? The answer is that they believe a strong culture is competitive advantage. Culture is one of the most precious things a company has, so the company must work harder on it than anything else.the effect of organizational culture depends partly on its strength. Corporate culture strength refers to how widely and deeply employees hold the companys dominant values and assumptions. In a strong organizational culture, most staffs across all subunits hold the predominant values. These values are also organized by established artifacts, which make it difficult for these values to change. A strong corporate culture potentially increase a companys success by serving three important functions: control system, which is deeply embedded form of social control that influence employee decisions and behaviors; social glue, which is increasingly important as a way to attract new staff an d retain top performers; and sense-making process, it helps employees understand what goes on and why things happen in company. Impact of organizational culture on tourism industry customers decision In tourism industry, the organizational culture also play an important role in its daily business, the organizational culture will have impact on the customers decision, employees service, the companys brand or reputation and the revenue. Organizational culture is the most basic determinant of a persons wants and behavior. It comprises the basic values, perceptions, wants, and behaviors that a person learns continuously in a society. Today, most societies are in a state of flux. Culture is expressed through tangible items such as food, architecture, clothing, and art. In the minds of millions of travelers worldwide, hotel means Hilton a place where they know they will find warm hospitality, comfort, value and rewarding recognition. This brand strength, coupled with Hiltons leading edge management systems, translates into an incredibly successful business model. Partnering with this iconic industry The culture of Hilton hotel group helps the corporate to attract more customers and inc rease their customers loyalty indirectly. Impact on employee performance Corporate culture not only have impact on customers decisions, but also on the employees satisfaction and performance, organizational culture has the potential to increase the corporate performance and employee satisfaction, the relationship between the culture and performance are that organizational culture can have a significant influence on a companys long-term economic performance and will probably be an even more important factor in determining the success or failure of firms during the next 10 years, the impact of organizational culture is also related to the service to the guests. Organization culture is important in hotel, because it sets out a control mechanism. It influences the the relationship between the employees and how decisions are made by managers in hotel. An example is where the hotel hire a new supervisor who make decisions without studying the organizational culture first, If the changes he makes conflict with the organization culture, it will confuse the employ ees behavior. In Hilton, the hotel management do it specially, other hotel put the customers in the first place, but in Hilton, they also put their employees in the first place, not matter you are the general manager or the cleaner of the back area, they think that in the hospitality industry fulfilled guests are the direct result of a fulfilled staff. The hotel offer scholarships ,travel plans, health schemes for the employees, and trust, respect, understand their employees, create the relaxed working environment to build team spirit and good mood. Hilton elevator program, which helps the Hilton Group develop a large amount of talented, internationally mobile employees and try the best to make sure every of them to the management level during 5-8 years from starting this elevator program, also helps the corporate retain their talent employees and attract more new employees. Impact on branding Nowadays, the most important thing lead brands famous or not normally is their strong culture. Successful organizations often ask themselves: how do we continue grow and promote the continuation of organization culture that makes them successful? Amazon purchased Zappos.com. Why? One key reason: because of their culture and potential to innovate the customer experience on the web and WOW them. What are the ingredients for the kind of brand culture that will fuel your companys sales, create customer loyalty and attract the right people to work with. When company begin to create culture, people are the companys asset. A company existing in the world now consist lots of people staffs, guests and suppliers. Thats why people and what they think and feel matter now more than ever before. The look of a companys advertising, design of the web site, coolness of its mobile apps are all important, but not as important as the voice and the actions of its people. Building a strong brand culture, then, starts with the people. The culture is not owned by the marketing team, it is owned by the entire company from the CEO to the customer service rep and everyone in between. And companies that nurture a distinct brand culture in the workplace will become a distinctive brand in the marketplace. Focus on developing your people and relationships and everything else will follow. Impact on leadership Organizational culture can have impact on customers decision, employee performance and corporate brand, it also can influence the leadership, leaders is created by the culture; culture created by its leaders, Leaders are supposed to be in charge of organizations, but the organizational culture also have huge impact on their decision-making in the workplace. If the leaders want to change something in company, their styles of leadership should be adjusted strategically and accommodated the organizational culture. Leaders have the roles to decide the daily business and program of activities according the basic assumption of the organizations. If the subordinates behavior are in accordance with the program outlined by the leader the value obtained is high, and vice versa when the behavior of individuals within the organization is far from the truth as set forth in the work program by the leader, then its value is low. Leadership is about supervising and guiding the following employees to wards a unified standard or target, by broadcasting as a positive impact and using motivational strategies. Leaders can be used to lead corporate through organizational, operational, structural and operational reforms.This phenomenon can be said to be similar to the growth phase of organization proposed by, especially in the second growth phase in which an organization grew on the basis of guidance (direction) of a leader that has been agreed upon by the organization. The phenomenon can be turned around, meaning leader could be created by the organizational cultural when the leader is born as a successor (succession) in an organization in which the organizational culture has taken hold and has become part of the life of the organization. An example is in the organization of government. A country or government was born from the foundations of the Constitution and the philosophy of life in which the state constitution and the philosophy of life is the basic assumption of the governmen t culture. New leader as the next generation will continue the previous leadership with the basic assumption that the new leader as the successor will hold and preserve the culture of the organization. It can be said that new leader was being created by the organizational culture. This thinking has been proven by. In his research, he found that the differences of the dimensions of transformational leadership, especially is on the charisma and inspirational motivation. U.S workers have greater leadership on the variables that focus on the vision, expected future, optimism, and enthusiasm in achieving business results. While in Germany, workers have less charisma and initiative. But there is no difference in terms of transactional leadership. Some cultural values may also predict leadership style, but only in small portions. This explains that cultural values have little affect on the leadership. How to learn culture? Building organizational culture should be taken long time, thus let the employees learn the organizational culture also be difficult, Culture is broadcast to staffs in many ways, the most efficient methods are the stories, material symbols, language and material symbols. Numerous of senior Nike executive spend lots of time to be a company storytellers to promote their organizational culture. And these stories they convey are about the Nike history. The executives always tell a story about their co-founder Bill Bowerman, he poured rubber into his wifes waffle iron to create a better running shoe, this story is about innovation sprite of Nike. When the new employees hear the story of Chinese runing star Liu Xiangs battles to be succeed in winning champion at the 100-meter hurdle race, especially he used Nikes equipment, this stroy tells the new hires that Nikes commitment to helping athletes. These stories are circulated through many retail shops and companies. Normally they will tell a narrative of stories about he companies co-founders, reductions in the workplace, rags-to-riches successes, relocation of employees, reaction to reduce the mistakes. The stories explain legitimate current practices and describe history. Rituals are repetitive sequences of activities that express and reinforce the key values of the organization what goals are most important, which people are important, and which people are expendable. One of the better-know is Walmarts company chant. Begun by the companys founder, Sam Walton, as a way to motivate and unite his workforce, Gimme a W, gimme an A, gimme an L, gimme a squiggle, give me an M, A, R, T! has become a ritual that bonds workers and reinforces Waltons belief in the value of his employees to the companys success. Similar corporate chants are used by IBM, Ericsson, Novell, Deustsche Bank. Many organizations and subunits within them use language to help members identify with culture, attest to their accpetance of it, and help preserve it. Unique terms describe equipment, officers, key individuals, suppliers, customers, or products that relate to the business. New employees may at first be overwhelmed by acronyms and jargon, that once assimilated, act as a common denominator to unite members of a given culture or subculture. If you are a new employee at Boeing, you will find yourself learning a unique vocabulary, including Boeing online data, etc. Conclusion Organizational culture has three main functions. It is the bridge that connect people together and makes them feel part of the organizational experience. corporate culture helps employees make sense of the workplace. Third, It is also a deeply embedded form of social control. Organizations with strong cultures normally perform better than those with weak cultures, but only when the cultural content is suit for the companys environment. Also, the culture should not be so strong that it drives out dissenting values, which may form emerging values for the future. As a manager, you can help the company shape the culture. All managers work together and can especially do their part to consider spiritually and its role in creating a positive organizational culture and to create the organizational culture. Often you can do as much as to shape your organizational culture as the culture of the organization shapes you.

IKEA Customer Loyalty Essay

Customer loyalty is all about attracting the right customer, getting them to buy, buy often, buy in higher quantities and bring you even more customers. In short, you build customer loyalty by treating people how they want to be treated. There are many ways by which IKEA builds customer loyalty. The goal of the loyalty program is to reward IKEA’s best customers with discounts and special offers throughout the store. The online business of Ikea was developed as a way of generating greater loyalty among the customer base, as it is this that ultimately delivers greater sales and profitability. This was the view of Adri Kraa, head of Ikea Shop Online, expressed at the Retail Bulletin Summit 2009 when he suggested that only five percent more retention through loyal customers could deliver as much as 60 percent more profits. Through a desire to give customers greater â€Å"empowerment† and convenience the decision was taken to launch the Ikea online store. IKEA’s kiosk-based loyalty program IKEA FAMILY has attracted more than 1.6 million members since its launch a few months ago. IKEA FAMILY offers special offers and benefits to customers, as well as program-branded merchandise and promotional events. The Kiosks, which are built, serviced and monitored by Kiosk Information Systems, allow new members to enroll and receive a membership card on the spot. The kiosks also encourage existing members to scan their cards for a chance to win a monthly $100 FAMILY Sweepstakes, as well as view exclusive current IKEA FAMILY discounts and offers. Mobile is playing an increasingly important role for IKEA as it continues to build momentum for its loyalty program. Mobile is a key part of the strategy, with employees using in-store tablets to sign-up new customers and IKEA sending out SMS alerts to keep consumers updated on new products.

Famous KISS Songs of the 80s