15 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Resume

15 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Resume Here at TheJobNetwork, we have scoured every nook and cranny  of the internet and have compiled a list of epic proportions. Here are the top 15 most hilarious  things people have put on their resume. Most people take their resumes seriously, but not these guys. First thing first, if you are serious about making a great resume, make sure to download our resume samples for your specific job title.1.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"None of my references really like me, so please don’t believe what they say.†2.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"I came up with the idea for Windows.†3. â€Å"I’ll introduce you to my wife if you hire me.†4. â€Å"I am proficient in Internet Explorer, Firefox, and all related search engines.†5.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"I’m a level 90 Shamanistic natural healer.†6.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"I quit  being a  porn actor and took a job at a gas station. They fired me because of ‘job performance issues.’ Right before the tank was full I’d pull the nozzle ou t and spray gas all over the car’s headlights.†7.   Werk Xperince: â€Å"i werked at da keyfuuud az da best bhag boiii†8.   Leadership Skills: â€Å"World of Warcraft Guild Leader9.  Ã¢â‚¬Å"Have you ever been convicted of a felony? If yes, please explain.†Ã‚  Answer:  Ã¢â‚¬Å"Yes. Arson.  He deserved it. Will discuss in interview.†10. â€Å"List your most notable accomplishments.† Answer: â€Å"I learned how to store crumbs in the flaps of my fat for safe-keeping.†11. Skills: â€Å"I’m a BOSS at working.†12. Talents: â€Å"I am adored by my entire village. All of the villagers want me to marry their daughters.†13. Special skills: â€Å"I have destroyed the president of Nicaragua in tennis.†14. Languages: â€Å"I can speak Klingon.†15.   Ã¢â‚¬Å"This isn’t my real contact information. I need to conceal my identity because I am being followed. If you need to contact me, flip a coin into the sunlight and look north. I will be there.†If you don’t want to end up looking like anyone above, make sure to go over to our resume library to download a resume template for your desired job title.

Biography of Carl O. Sauer

Biography of Carl O. Sauer Carl Ortwin Sauer was born on December 24, 1889, in Warrenton, Missouri. His grandfather was a traveling minister, and his father taught at Central Wesleyan College, a German Methodist college that has since been closed. During his youth, Carl Sauers parents sent him to school in Germany, but he later returned to the United States to attend Central Wesleyan College. He graduated in 1908, shortly before his nineteenth birthday. From there, Carl Sauer began attending Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. While at Northwestern, Sauer studied geology and developed an interest in the past. Sauer then shifted to the broader subject of geography. Within this discipline, he was primarily interested in the physical landscape, human cultural activities, and the past. He then transferred to the University of Chicago where he studied under Rollin D. Salisbury, among others, and earned his Ph.D. in geography in 1915. His dissertation focused on the Ozark Highlands in Missouri and included information ranging from the areas people to its landscape. Carl Sauer at the University of Michigan Following his graduation from the University of Chicago, Carl Sauer began teaching geography at the University of Michigan where he remained until 1923. In his early days at the university, he studied and taught environmental determinism, an aspect of geography that said the physical environment was solely responsible for the development of various cultures and societies. This was the popularly held viewpoint in geography at the time, and Sauer learned about it extensively at the University of Chicago. After studying the destruction of pine forests on Michigans Lower Peninsula while teaching at the University of Michigan though, Sauers opinions on environmental determinism changed, and he became convinced that humans control nature and develop their cultures out of that control, not the other way around. He then became a fierce critic of environmental determinism and carried these ideas throughout his career. During his graduate studies in geology and geography, Sauer also learned the importance of field observation. He then made this an important aspect of his teaching at the University of Michigan and during his later years there, he did field mapping of the physical landscape and land uses in Michigan and surrounding areas. He also published extensively on the area’s soils, vegetation, land use, and the quality of the land. The University of California, Berkeley Throughout the early 1900s, geography in the United States was mainly studied on the East Coast and Mid-west. In 1923, however, Carl Sauer left the University of Michigan when he accepted a position at the University of California, Berkeley. There, he served as the department chair and advanced his ideas of what geography should be. It was also here that he became famous for developing the Berkeley School of geographic thought which focused on regional geography organized around culture, landscapes, and history. This area of study was important for Sauer because it further enhanced his opposition to environmental determinism in that it placed an emphasis on how humans interact with and change their physical environment. Also, he brought up the importance of history when studying geography and he aligned U.C. Berkeleys geography department with its history and anthropology departments. In addition to the Berkeley School, Sauers most famous work to come out of his time at U.C. Berkeley was his paper, The Morphology of Landscape in 1925. Like much of his other work, it challenged environmental determinism and made clear his stance that geography should be the study of how present landscapes were shaped over time by people and natural processes. Also in the 1920s, Sauer began applying his ideas to Mexico, and this began his lifelong interest in Latin America. He also published Ibero-Americana with several other academics. During much of the rest of his life, he studied the area and its culture and published widely on the Native Americans in Latin America, their culture, and their historical geography. In the 1930s, Sauer worked on the National Land Use Committee and began studying the relationships between climate, soil, and slope with one of his graduate students, Charles Warren Thornthwaite, to detect soil erosion for the Soil Erosion Service. Soon after though, Sauer became critical of the government and its failure to create sustainable agriculture and economic reform and in 1938, he wrote a series of essays focused on environmental and economic issues. Additionally, Sauer also became interested in biogeography in the 1930s and wrote articles focusing plant and animal domestication. Finally, Sauer organized the international conference, Mans Role in Changing the Face of the Earth, at Princeton, New Jersey in 1955 and contributed to a book of the same title. In it, he explained the ways humans have impacted the Earths landscape, organisms, water, and atmosphere. Carl Sauer retired shortly after that in 1957. Post-U.C. Berkeley After his retirement, Sauer continued his writing and research and wrote four novels focused on early European contact with North America. Sauer died in Berkeley, California on July 18, 1975, at the age of 85. Carl Sauers Legacy During his 30 years at U.C. Berkeley, Carl Sauer oversaw the work of many graduate students who became leaders in the field and worked to spread his ideas throughout the discipline. More importantly, Sauer was able to make geography prominent on the West Coast and initiate new ways of studying it. The Berkeley Schools approach differed significantly from the traditional physical and spatially oriented approaches, and though it is not actively studied today, it provided the foundation for cultural geography, cementing Sauers name in geographic history.